Perhaps you’ve already chosen your dream team of bridesmaids or maybe you’re wondering whether you should go down that path at all. How and why you choose your bridesmaids will be very individual to you, as will how involved you’ll want them to be in your wedding planning. But, when it comes to choosing your bridesmaids and thinking about what you want them to do, there are a few considerations you should keep in mind.
Choosing your bridesmaids
Most brides will ask their closest friends and/or family members to be bridesmaids. Ideally, you want to be surrounded by people who will support you in the run up to and on your big day. Your bridesmaids should be your allies, giving honest and truthful opinions when needed and helping with various wedding planning tasks as necessary.
Choosing your bridesmaids shouldn’t be a numbers game, but the size of your ceremony space and wedding has to be a factor. If you’re planning for an intimate affair at a small venue, then choosing ten bridesmaids is unlikely to work. Traditional, formal ceremonies tend to have more bridesmaids and a maid of honour while you tend to see fewer bridesmaids at casual, informal ceremonies.
Top tip! Just remember, the more bridesmaids you choose, the more you’ll have to manage!
If you want to include young relatives in the bridal party, they might be better off with a flower girl role. You could also have junior bridesmaids for those relatives/friends who are somewhere in between and who wear junior bridesmaids dresses and take on junior responsibilities.
The key point to remember is that planning a wedding is already stressful enough so you don’t want high maintenance, grumpy, or unhelpful bridesmaids causing you more stress and strain. How much do you want your bridesmaids to be involved with the wedding planning? Not everyone around you will have the time or in some cases, the desire to be heavily involved. Before you ask anyone to be involved in your wedding, make sure your expectations are clear – and fair!
Key bridesmaids duties
Do you have an artsy friend who is good at crafts? Why not get them helping with your DIY wedding favours. You can involve your bridesmaids in your wedding planning in lots of ways, especially if you can tailor responsibilities to individual interests or talents. To get you thinking, here is a breakdown of some of the most likely ‘asks’ you will make of your bridesmaids:
Emotional support – without a doubt your bridesmaids should be those friends/family members who you can turn to when you’re feeling bogged down and frazzled from all the wedding planning.
Bridesmaid dress shopping – this event could be the most bridesmaid-bonding event of the year or a complete disaster! To avoid the latter, it’s best to go into it ensuring everyone is on the same page. Establish early on, who will pay for the dresses. If it’s you, set a budget and stick to it. If you expect your bridesmaids to pay, discuss and agree an amount they can all afford. If you have a large group of bridesmaids, it will be difficult to please everyone. Try to be flexible on your style expectations to ensure you have a happy band of bridesmaids and discuss colour, accessories, and hair and makeup options before you go shopping to avoid any disagreements.
‘This and that!’ – If you are doing the majority, or all, of your wedding planning yourself, you will likely find yourself needing help with many different things. Consider this fact when you are choosing your bridesmaids and think of those who you believe will help lower your stress levels rather than add to them! But remember, your bridesmaids also have a life outside of your wedding planning so expect help but be reasonable.
The Hen Party – organising the hen party should be the responsibility of the maid of honour, if you have one, or the bridesmaids as a group if you don’t. And, what fun they should have planning it!
On-the day support – you might find it helpful to have the emotional and practical support of your bridesmaids on the morning of the big day while you’re getting ready. They can help ease any nerves, make you laugh, and help out with any practical tasks. If you have younger bridesmaids or flower girls, your older bridesmaids should certainly help them get ready. Don’t forget to make sure all of your bridesmaids know what to do on the day such as who they will travel with and when and whether they will be giving readings or speeches.
Being a bridesmaid is a big deal and you will be asking a lot of your friend/family member by asking them to be part of your wedding party. Remember to say thank you often and show your appreciation.
Planning a wedding in Buckinghamshire or Berkshire? Get in touch for a no-obligation chat about how my wedding planning expertise can help you plan your dream wedding.
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